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2010-02-01-Always Thankful

You may not realize it, but there are so many things in your life to be thankful for at this moment. Wherever you are, whatever you are going through, make sure to focus on the things that matter and to give thanks for them.

Everyone has problems, challenges, struggles, and difficulties in life, yet its what you focus on that will free you from the pain of hurt and live in limitless joy.

Stop bitching about what you don’t have and focus on the abundance that is already around you. Instead of being hateful to those that hurt you, abused you, beat you, wronged you or even raped you, focus on the people that lifted you up and brushed you off and told you they loved you. They have to be there, else you wouldn’t be standing where you are standing today.

If you find yourself in a worrysome situation or in fear over the impending future, stop thinking for a minute and just breath. Focus rather on the hardships you have endured and put yourself in a happy place to know that you made it through the despair. Know with every fiber of your being that you can always remain standing through whatever life throws your way.

If you have dreams that have not been filled, you need to give thanks for them. Imagine if you had accomplished everything you set out to do, that would be the most boring life possible…especially if you achieved it early on in life. Be present in the now and give thanks and know that there are other goals that you are going to tackle as you move forward. There is no right or wrong or best or worst when accomplishing something, just a piece of mind that you did it.

Live in love and allow yourself to live in that gratitude that you are wonderful, beautiful, amazing and unique. Approach everything with an open heart, an abundant heart, a loving heart and a thankful heart. You will find yourself less stressed about the future and living in love and light which is where we all strive to be. Know that I and many others love you, but more than that, that you love yourself, for that is what matters.

Until next time

2010-01-30-Action

Is there something that you have been putting off doing? Why wait any longer? Today is as good a day as any to get off your butt and do it. You see once you get started, you are building momentum and that helps you gain ground.

Don’t make excuses, blame others, create hatred or second guess yourself. That never gets you anywhere but deeper in despair. Energy attracts like energy and doing something creates action.

Don’t complain about the lack of resources or time. Focus on the time you currently have and be present in the now, focusing on the goal or task at hand.

Conditions are never perfect. Deciding to paint a room in your house, get your transmission repaired or begin a family never have a perfect time in your life. If you wait for that time, you will miss your opportunity. Focus on what you have and what you can do and just do it. “A person shows who they are by what they do with what they have been given”…this is the real value in timing.

You may not realize it but you have more than enough to get started. You are surrounded by much positivity and abundance and love to start on the task at hand. Make the best of it and allow yourself to step to that next place, regardless of how uncomfortable it may feel, the truth is that you cannot fail.

So at this moment, arise and take a deep breath, closing your eyes and feeling the love and abundance that surround you. Feel my love and the love of the universe surrounding you and smiling back at you. You are truly loved and can do anything you decide to do. This is your time, your moment to shine. Put on your favorite music and sing at the top of your lungs and dance like no ones watching because you are unstoppable.

until next time…

2010-01-21-little reminders

If you feel you are not making progress, it is because your mind is a terrible obstacle. Pat yourself on the back and reward yourself for all that you have done.

If you forget why you are on the chosen path, remind yourself why it is you do what you love. Focus on all the positives and eliminate the negatives that may try and creep in. Walking is done one step at a time.

Remind yourself often of what is important to you. Family, friends, laughter and your amazing ability to attract new and wonderful people in your life. Find whats REALLY important to you and do that.

Our mind has a way of telling us that we are not good enough, when the reality is that we, in our current state, are perfect and need not achieve anything other than right now, because there is no past and the future is a dream.

Take time to appreciate you and all that you do, for those around you as well as yourself. You are beautiful and magnificent at this moment and NO ONE can take that away from you. Go watch a sunset, put on your favorite music, watch children play in the park…just be.

The best of your life is waiting for you right now, not in the future or in some distant memory from your past, but right now. Give yourself the love admiration and respect you deserve. Brush yourself off and be in love.

Until Next time…

2010-1-19-A favorite song of mine

Mazzy Star

Into Dust

Still falling
Breathless and on again
Inside today
Inside me today
Around broken in two
Til your eyes share into dust
Like two strangers turning into dust
Til my hand shook with the weight of fear
I could possibly be fading
Or have something more to gain
I could feel myself growing colder
I could feel myself under your fate
Under your fate
It was you, breathless and torn
I could feel my eyes turning into dust
Into strangers, turning into dust
Turning into dust
Turning into dust

2010-01-18-Expectations

We all have expectations and the expectations can be end results. Things such as health, happiness, wealth abundance and friends. It is good to have such a wide array of expectations, because these are the fabrics of manifesting the life that you so desire and become the formula for manifesting your dreams.

However, expecting your life to follow a certain road, such as becoming a movie star, making a top ten album on itunes, accumulating a certain amount of wealth, having someone fall in love with you-especially a particular person, or deciding that some diet, invention or some idea is going to be your salvation, is messing with the ways of the universe. Don’t limit the your options.

Sometimes i want to run away….

Many people seem to think that i am superhuman. I am here to advise you that I am human just like everyone else. I have emotions, I have good days, bad days and then there are times when i just break down and cry.

Sometimes life presents so many things at your feet that it can be overwhelming. This morning, after a lack of sleep, I woke up and put on some music that I knew would get me into that emotional place, walked out on the balcony, after getting ready for work, looked at the slope behind my room at the Hotel Park city, and got into that place and just let go…and cried.

Some days are better than others….some days are very good and some days you just can’t put your finger on what is going on inside of you. You just accept that you don’t feel like you always do and then move on. Today seems to be one of those days.

As I was crying on my balcony and feeling whatever was going on, I began to realize that maybe I am different. Maybe my calling is different in the sense that I am not destined for conventional. Maybe my life is destined for the service of others. As I sat there and realized that I have a gift, a gift that people can release and open up to me, I realized it is almost like being a superhero.

I imagined being a superhero, like superman or spiderman…destined for a life of isolation and the fact that love may not find me…because its not in the cards. I can’t really say, I can say that I know love is real. Dictionary.com defines love as “a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.” another definition is “affectionate concern for the well-being of others:” My love for others will always exist. I love everyone and enjoy crossing their paths in order to help them overcome some obstacle in their life. For intensive purposes, I am really referring to the former of the love definitions.

Maybe the universe decides or needs me to be absent of that kind of love and to be free to do at a moments notice. In that, I am happy to serve, but part of me becomes sad. Never being able to give myself 100% to someone that you love (either for fear of not being loved back or because maybe its not the Universes plan for me).

I sit content and just be. Trying to remove any emotions that I have, for also knowing that love is my weakness. It breaks me down and removes my ability to think on a logical level and therefore causes me to make decisions that may not be best for my future. In all actuality, i just have to be…I have to feel… I have to constrain…

until next time…

Is it me?

So yesterday and the day before, I felt a head cold coming on. It was a hard hitter, but I roughed it out. 2 full days of hard labor, in the form of shoveling and moving dirt by the tons.

Having a cold of any sort is draining because your body is working overtime to maintain homeostasis. Doing physical labor, may or may not be good for that end. The definitive results (in my book) are inconclusive.

So this morning I woke up and noticed that this cold is working it’s way to my chest. Most people would say ” you should go to the doctor”, however since I have no insurance, I say screw it and will hop on my trusty steed (aka my fuji) and barrel out some miles.

Again this may not be adviseable, however, I tend not to listen to advice—call me crazy, but if you don’t know by now, I am a bit unconventional.

I hope to hack up a lung or two. Maybe see some amazing scenery and just be in this moment, because in reality, it’s all we have

Until next time…

a new year…

So it hit me like a ton of bricks last night. Here I am on New Years eve without a thing to do. I just put in a long day on the jobsite hauling 250+ sheets of 1/2 inch and 5/8 inch sheet rock into a house. I was a little exhausted and tired but ready to have a beer or two. I lined up plans, but as the night progressed, they fell through and by 10pm, I decided to turn out the lights and go to bed.

I realized truly for the first time what it is like to truly be alone on a New years. Part of it could be, the company that I chose to keep and another part could be that I am just different. I turned my phone off and decided to just be in the moment and feel what it felt like. I felt my mind thinking and telling me that something was wrong with me or that I am not a worthy person. I thought about the people I may have hurt in the past, specifically this year. I just really stayed in the feeling place of being in the now.

As I stayed in that place, it became more evident to me that I was exactly where I need to be on this New Years eve, Not in some bar drinking and unable to connect with real people because of clouded judgement, but rather in my bed, resting, from a hard days work.

I begin to realize that on this new day of this new year, some of us are called to a different purpose. I look inward and see that many people are drawn to me for counsel and advice. I haven’t been successful at relationships and I attribute that to the calling in my life. Being in a relationship may slow me down or possibly take away my focus. You have to be broken down in order to realize where you really stand in light of things.

Please hear me: I am in no way saying that I hate my life, or that I am miserable, or that I have been short changed. I am stating that we all have differnt callings in life and to be present enough in your own life to realize what that voice may be saying.

So as I begin 2010, I look forward to the spiritual journey that I will be taking. Not focused so heavily on how much I can make or save but rather the ability to help those around me and build them up as well as well as increase my spriritual awareness. I look forward to the connections that I wil make this year and the significance of where I am in life at this moment. I look forward to helping others become successful at whatever that may be. I also revel in the moment that I am in…right now.

May you have a blessed 2010 and I look forward to continuing this journey and the discussion.

Until next time…

Learning patience…again.

So a few weeks ago, i gave my aunt a quote on repairing a deck for the back of a mobile home she has up in Calabasas. I tend to be the resident handyman in our family and when I am not busy, I love doing small things like repairing decks, installing shelving, building closets, redoing sinks, installing new toilets. It is the handyman in me and I love it because it keeps me focused.

Well i did the estimate and gave it to my aunt and she loved it and said go for it. I told her I would come up in the next few weeks to get started. After looking at my schedule (I am not busy for months), I decided to drive up and begin the process of what I thought would be a quick day job. I figured that I would demolish the old deck, repair the few pieces of wood that were bad, lay the new deck down and voila…good as new, right…wrong!

This is what it looked like at first

After 2x6's were removed

After really getting into it, I began to see that the dry rot and termites were worse than I had initially inspected and expected. As it turns out, every piece of lumber on the deck was basically bad. I said to myself, well its not too bad, I can just replace the wood and use the existing foundation. Wrong again!

End of day 2

Upon removing the lumber from the piers, I realized the piers were bad as well and to top it off, whomever put the old piers in place, cemented them to the foundations, rather than just setting them on the foundations. Without having the correct tools and it now approaching dark, I became frustrated, tired and ready to quit. When I left the trailer, I was dirty and overwhelmed.

I fell asleep way too early. I think I was in bet by 7:30 and true to form, I was awake by 12:30. I said to myself, “This cant be. I need more sleep”. I couldn’t fall back to sleep and read for an hour and a half finishing up “Honeymoon with my Brother” . As a side note, if you haven’t read this book, please read it. It is a fantastic story told by a fantastic writer. Anyhow, I finally fell asleep at 3 am on the nose after emailing Franz and telling him how awesome his book was.

I woke up rested at 7:30. I kind of regrouped. and thought about the task at hand (the porch). I sat down over some toast with cheese and some coffee and began to write out the list of all the things i will need. I left at 8am and grabbed a thermos of coffee and stopped at Home Depot for some work gloves. Arriving at the workplace, my attitude changed slightly because of the 10 pound mallet i wielded, taking out the foundation one pilar at a time.

After Lunch, my uncle and I made the journey to Home Depot and began our spending spree on lumber, lumber, and more lumber. After purchasing all the necessary items to basically build a brand new deck from the ground up, we headed back to the job site. We unloaded everything. We were starting to lose light, so I told my uncle to bring the truck back and i would clean up and head home.

On the second to last day, i began to set the piers. If you don’t know what that entails, trust me it isn’t fun. You have to find your highest point and work backwards. Level each base, make sure the pier is under the level line and move on to the next one. I had to do this 11 times. Finally got it all set and began to set the 4×8’s. To my surprise we only needed to shim one or two of the piers. Now we could fasten the 4×8’s to the piers with bolts and begin to set the 4×6 stringers, however, this would be a project fo the last day.

I arrived at the scene at at 7:45 and began working. Put the stringer fastners on each 4×6 and we were off to a quick start, that was until the Trailer Park manager stopped by and started getting huffy about what I was doing and why the deck was only allowed to be out 4 feet, instead of 8. After things settled down, he finally agreed to let us keep 7. I ate a power bar and worked through lunch.

Exhausted from not sleeping well and the sheer physical demands of the project, I was ready to quit, but I kept going. Seeing the project slow completion was my reward. Finally the last deck board was laid and i began cutting the 4×4 bannisters for the railing while my uncle don fastened them in with lag bolts. We called it quits at 4 pm on the nose because I had to drive back to Encinitas.


the deck

Looking back, it was a true test of patience. I wanted to walk away and tell my aunt to hire a contractor, however that is the easy thing to do. Instead I muscled it out and persevered and finished (all but the railing mind you). My point is that not all things are easy. Sometimes they are a struggle and you have a choice, walk away, or stand and fight. I decided to stay. Needless to say, my aunt was thrilled and her tennat will be too now that he can use the deck to sit out and enjoy the weather.

Until next time

“Up in the Air”

I try not to post movie reviews on here because, well truthfully, I use flixster inside of the facebook app for that, however on this rare occasion, I decided to post my official review of this movie. I need to forewarn you that this post may be longer than usual because it really struck a nerve and brought up some great thought points for me–so grab your coffee, water, juice or energy drink, get comfortable and hear me out. I wont talk excessively about the movie and try to touch on points that really stood out to me. Overall it was well done and I think Clooney was a perfect choice for the role so out of 5 stars, I give this movie 5 stars, primarily because it hits so close to home for me.

So a quick synopsis is that Ryan Bingham is a guy who works in corporate America as “downsizing expert”. He is a road warrior extreme and lives his life out of a suitcase and rarely spends time at his small drab apartment. His ultimate goal is to hit 10,000,000 miles with American, which gives him lifetime executive status on the carrier. He becomes challenged when his company decides to automate the process and begin doing the firings by web chat, therefore saving the company money and becoming more productive. With his own existence challenged, he decides to take Natalie, the girl responsible for the demize, on the road and show her that her thought process is not clear.

I was able to relate to this movie on so many levels, well because it is my life and has been for 10 years, probably more if I would have found out about it earlier. I am on the road a lot, maybe not as much as Ryan, but quite a bit. It seems every other week it is a new destination or an old one recycled. I live my life out of a suitcase (for the most part). My life is simple and I try to limit the amount of “things” i have in my life. My life really consists of my car, my 3 cats and some replaceable furnishings from IKEA and that is about it.

When I was younger, I really thought the American dream was to have a wife, a house, a two car garage and a few children. I was following in the footsteps of my family and what I thought was the right path for my life. When I turned 27, I got married and had a 5 bedroom 3 bath house, a beautiful wife and 2 amazing dogs (a black and a chocolate lab). I thought that was the goal and I appreciated what I had. In the midst of this, I had landed a job in which I worked hard and showed my value and worth to the company. They liked me and promoted me to an Event Manager/Program Manager postion.

I was quickly hooked and loved the thrill of getting on a plane and going to a new destination, setting up the 3 day conference and then heading home late saturday or possibly Sunday mornings. As you can imagine this began to wreak havoc on my marriage. My wife, at the time, wanted me to become grounded and look for another job because the travel was too much for her. I became torn because I loved what I did, but also loved my wife.

This movie really explored the dichotomy of human relationships and the human experience. It really hit home with me because there really are two main schools of thought when it comes to relationships. One being that we are meant to find the person of our dreams, settle down, possibly have kids and grow old together. The other is that monogamy is a way of life and that we meet multiple people in our journey, have great connections, and enjoy the rush of being on the go. Ryan said something in the movie such as, “We are not swans..we are sharks…” I find this to be true in my life. When there isn’t a lot going on, I am down in the dumps. I feel like I am not accomplishing. I need movement in my life to keep me going.

Whether we want to admit it or not, I have no business telling people what life they should live or that their choice is inferior to my own. Should they chose a monogamous life with a secure base, that is their right, however, I would expect the same respect in chosing my lifestyle. I shouldn’t be judged because I don’t have a house, or because I am not married and have kids, or because I don’t have the career that others chose, that is what makes me an individual, a human being, Chad Bordes.

There was an interesting dialogue between Natalie and Ryan in Miami about family and marriage and growing old. Natalie was drilling him on all these questions and it seemed that she was shocked, to say the least at his responses. We are conditioned to believe that one lifestyle is a better choice over the other rather than learning acceptance without persuasion.

The movie also dabbled into the arena of love. Im not going to get into the specifics of it, rather I will say, please go see the film. I will share with you my thoughts on this subject. Each of us is different. I see so much of myself in the main character that it is shocking. As an Events Consultant/Travel Director, I can say that at times on the road, I have fallen in love. The reality is, however, that it is a road romance and I must accept that and be okay with it without the expectation of anything more. Who knows if the women I date are married, divorced, engaged or have a serious long term boyfriend? The truth is that I can’t have expectations outside of the “right now” and that I know the rules of the game.

Robert Deniro once said in the Movie Heat, “”Never have anything in your life that you can’t walk out on in 30 seconds if you see the heat around the corner” That line is true of the road warriors life. I have great friends and great times. I have limited possessions and minimal amounts of cash at any given time. I am not asking for a pity party because I made the choice to do what I do and I am happy with that. Your life is not my life and my life is not yours. I look forward to the mileage perks, the hotel rooms, the random acquaintances, the late night conversations in the hotel bars about life and the brief time I have at home with my cats as well as my bedroom with all my possessions.

Now with all of my ranting about this movie and how it parallels my life, I must also say there was a part of this movie that made me think. What I am going to say right now is going to piss a lot of my coworkers off, and that is just a day in the office. For those of you longing to get off the road because of the long hours, being away from home, not being able to sleep in your bed, not liking “Vegas” or “Miami”, Missing your family, or just wanting to spend more time at home, my words to you, Please get off the road and get a job closer to home. The things I just mentioned above are reasons why I love this job. In this life, find your passion, accept it and move on. Don’t keep going on the road, “cause its good money”. Take the chance to get off the road, find your passion, be with your family (if that is truly what you want) and give those of us that love this job, the opportunity to do what we do and do it well without competing against you.

I am sure I am going to add more to this blog as I see the movie again. For those of you that ask what I do, well I am Ryan Bingham